Wrong With You
by SadButSmiling
Summary: Antonio and Lovino. Lovino and Antonio. On the outside, Antonio is the warm smile to Lovino's permanent scowl. But if Antonio falls apart, what happens next? College/Uni AU, Spain x Romano
1. Chapter 1

"Lovi, wake up," Antonio frowned slightly at the lack of response."You're going to be late and then miss your classes, then how will you be able to study for exams or become a–"

A dull thump came from the next room. "Yeah, yeah bastard. You don't need to tell me what'll happen if I fail my exams. Believe me, I get enough shit from Roma about it," a sharp intake of breath, "ugh, ow."

"Oi, be more respectful to your grandpa. And please, stop pulling all-nighters, I'm worried about you."

The boy stumbled out, pulling a sweater over his head. His normally tan skin had become worryingly pale as of late, and purple shadows were developing under his eyes. "It's not like I do it by choice, taking care of you is a full-time job." It seemed that Lovino still had enough energy to poke fun at Antonio.

"But Lovi- I made coffee," Antonio lifted up a mug proudly. "Milk and sugar, just the way you like it!"

Lovino eyed the mug. "Hand it over."

"Not until you say sorry," Antonio sang, holding the mug high above his head.

"Damnit bastard, are you serious?" Lovino's eyes flashed, his voice laughing.

"Am I ever not?" Leaning back from the Italian's grasping hands, he giggled at the shorter boy's attempts. "If you want your coffee, you need to say sorry..."

Lovino smirked and pulled a leg up onto the counter, plucking the cup deftly from Antonio's hands. He shook his head. "You should know Tonio, you really are no match for me. Too bad, try harder next time."

Antonio mock growled but eased back with a laugh. "C'mon, get out of here. You'll be late."

Antonio strolled across campus, humming under his breath. He hadn't met up with Gilbert in a while, the German had been busy with his 'friend', Roderich. Although, along with Francis, they were best friends, majoring in different subjects made it difficult to see each other. He was trying to make the most out the last few weeks of the semester before the break started.

"Yo, Toni!" Antonio looked up and picked up his pace. Gilbert waved and smiled.

"Hola, Gil!"He gratefully received the coffee from the other man's hands as they began to walk. He blew on his coffee as they began to walk, waiting for the other man to start a conversation as he normally would.

Nothing came.

"Gil."

"Yeah?"

Antonio waited a beat before realising the normally obnoxiously loud man truly had nothing to say. He wasn't waiting for Antonio to ask about his latest escapade or his new drinking buddy. "Are you okay? I mean," he backtracked quickly, "you seem a little… quiet is all."

Gilbert smiled but quickly looked away. "Just thinking, is all."

Antonio looked down. He had never been good at this sort of thing, being sensitive, reading the mood. "Uh… how's Roderich going?" He meant to engage his friend but Gilbert flinched away as soon as the name left Antonio's mouth.

Gilbert quickly recovered, pasting on a smile. "Good! Yeah, good, it's going awesome. It's great!"

Antonio fixed him with a stare. His friend was acting strangely. Normally, 'Roddy' was his favourite topic. Whether it was laughing and calling him a priss along with a story of his roommate, or drunken 3 am calls about how he was 'totally not in love but he was maybe a little gay for the princess'.

"Seriously, what's up? You know you can talk to me about anything, right?"

Gilbert huffed in tired amusement. Only now did Antonio notice his bloodshot eyes and cursed himself for being such a bad friend. How could he not have noticed?

"I'm fine, really. Just tired from studying, that's all."

Antonio stared at him, incredulous. His friend was one of those people who only had had to read over his notes before memorising it all. He was constantly laughing at people who had to study through the night (namely Antonio).

"Studying, Gil? What happened to 'I'm way too awesome to study like you idiots'?"

Gilbert stiffened. "Yeah, I was studying last night! I'm not a genius, I'm not like my brother, I do need to study to keep up with my classes like everyone else, okay!?" He was out of breath, his red eyes flashing more desperate than angry.

"Eh, ah," the Spaniard stumbled over his words slightly. "Lo siento, Gil. I-I didn't upset you, did I?"

The other man turned away. "Doesn't matter, Antonio. It's fine. Anyway, sorry for calling you out here. You probably have a class or something, right? I won't keep you any longer."

Antonio silently cursed his inability to read the mood once again. He wasn't all that perceptive, but even he could tell when someone was blowing him off. "Gil, you can talk to me! …I'm one of your best friends– right?"

"Yeah, you are, but I told you, nothing's wrong! So please, just…" He shook his head and lifted his hand in farewell as he walked away, leaving Antonio in the middle of the street, holding an already cold cup of coffee.

He didn't have any classes today, actually.

He had planned to spend the afternoon with his best friend.

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **So, I have revised and edited this chapter a little because after rereading it, it was definitely not up to the standard I wanted it at… I'm not sure it is even now ahah but ¯\\_(** **ツ** **)_/¯**

 **As always, concrit is appreciated as well as any corrections. ( ´ ▽ ˋ )** **ノ**


	2. Chapter 2

Antonio slumped on his bed with a groan. It made a soft _whumpf_ sound as the quilt rose up around him.

The amber eyed boy sitting at the desk in their small room said nothing, his only reaction was to push his glasses further up his nose.

"Lovi… Help me."

The boy bent further over his sketches.

"I have so much work, I hate it."

"Please…?"

No response.

"I'll make you pizza."

His eye twitched, but he otherwise didn't react.

"With extra tomatoes?"

Lovino bit his lip.

"Baciami~"

He pushed his chair away from the desk with a clatter. "Damnit bastard, you nearly had me there." Running a hand through his auburn locks, he stood up and stretched, cat like, walking toward the shared kitchen. "Anyway, I have three new designs due, so if I eat anything, I'll be too sleepy to work. Although," he poked his head back into their dorm, "I'm holding you to that on Friday."

The older man smirked from his nest of blankets. "The pizza or the kiss?"

"Fuck you, Toni."

* * *

The sight that greeted Antonio when he walked back into their dorm was of a sleeping Italian. The boy had slumped across the desk, cheek pressed against his designs, he was making soft breathing noises and his glasses were pushed up on his face, his bangs pushed back from his forehead.

Antonio lifted him and dumped the younger boy unceremoniously onto his bed. Lovino falling asleep at his desk was nothing new, but it was worrying how much easier lifting him up had been getting.

Antonio watched him for a while, although when sleeping his face wasn't scrunched up in a scowl, he was still sleep-deprived and his brows were slightly furrowed. His normal olive skin tone had paled over the past few months, and now his dark lashes and glowing amber eyes looked dark and fierce against his pale face. But even like this, he was gorgeous.

Gorgeous, and completely and utterly himself. Unlike him, constantly shedding and changing his skin with each person, cutting and pasting emotions and smiles, snippets of old conversations to reference, turing off his brain and turning on the smile.

Sometimes, Lovino was the only colour in his life, the rest of the world in his peripheral vision- shades of black swirling together till it was indistinguishable. Like his days that blurred into the night, his vision that faded into black.

* * *

"Toni."

Lovino looked down at the boy sprawled across the desk, their earlier positions reversed. Although Lovino was definitely not strong enough to carry Antonio all the way to his bed. And he needed the desk.

"Tonio, please. If you sleep, you sleep on the bed, _bastardo._ And plus, it can't be comfortable there. I need this space."

Now it was him met with silence. He stayed there a beat longer, then turned on his heel and left the room.

* * *

When Antonio awoke, the blinking lights on his clock read 1:23 am. Lovino was curled up on the couch and a plate of pasta sat on the counter. He smiled. The little Italian had a soft side under the slightly abrasive exterior. The two looked out for each other, Antonio was able to be Lovino's shield and protector against the harsh and judgemental population, the people who didn't care for anything but the surface layer, the people who ignored the small offerings of friendship, the ones whose gaze went past him to land on his brother. And Lovino understood Antonio. Knew when he was skipping meals, when he needed a break from everything. Their relationship was made of subtle glances, of long gone cold meals left out, of carefully chosen words. It was made of a quick smiles across the room and small notes on the whiteboard, of forgotten notes slipped into bags. One wrong word from either of them would shatter their frail relationship, but both of them valued it too much for that.

So instead their house of cards kept on being built upwards, getting more complex and intricate, each card making the whole thing more dear and precious. But neither wanted to solidify the base lest it all come tumbling down.

* * *

 **A/N**

 **It's only the second chapter and the story is already meandering to all kinds of corners orz.  
Also idk why there is so much 'watching the other person sleep', but it happened. I also didn't expect to update so fast, but this chapter was super short so. Maybe I will need to start figuring out what is going on in the later chapters oops. Oh and just a heads up- I have never been to university. I haven't even thought about which one I would like to attend and the only way I can get info is from my parents which is... ew. So I won't focus much on classes haha...**

 **Thanks for reading y'all, reviews are always appreciated**


	3. Chapter 3

There was no way the rain was going to stop, was there? Overnight, the skies had split open.

* * *

Antonio hadn't been feeling very well lately. Tired, listless and a distinct lack of appetite.

" _Toni, you bastard! You said you'd eat after you finished! Well, I'm back now, and you haven't even touched it!_

" _Oh, it's that new cafe. You haven't eaten since breakfast, have you?_

" _Oi, bastard. Feli personally took the time to cook this for you, you'll eat it. Right?_

" _We haven't gotten waffles in ages! You love waffles. Right, Antonio?"_

" _Toni?"_

Always avoiding eye contact. He had left his beloved tomatoes out and they had dropped, overripe, from the stalk. When Lovino had discovered the mess, the birds had all but picked the ground clean.

* * *

"Tonio."

The voice was muffled, the speaker's face pressed into Antonio's sweatshirt. He smiled slightly, Lovino rarely showed obvious gestures of affection like this. The two slim arms encircling his waist tightening their grasp.

"Tonio, let's go somewhere today. Let's go to that little waffle shop you like. Or we could get coffee? I could cook for you, you love my paella!" Lovino spoke with an almost desperate tone, his face buried in the small of Antonio's back.

"Lovi, I love you, you know that. I love spending time with you. But I have an assignment due next week, I was hoping to catch some sleep today."

"Sleep?! You have a lecture in half an hour, what sleep are you getting?"

Antonio laughed and rubbed the back of his neck. Truthfully speaking, he hadn't been getting much sleep lately, working till 3 am and staring at his wall for hours later.

"Hey, you know I go to sleep around 1. How else would I keep this glowing complexion?" He turned back to Lovino and winked, his smile falling as soon as he turned his face away.

 _Antonio, one day your lies are going to come back to bite you in the ass._

Not like he'd ever find out.

* * *

Antonio was tired. So, so tired. Bone tired, the kind of tired that held your spine straight by a string tied taut to the ceiling.

He rubbed his eyes, maybe he should go see someone. If anything, they could help with his sleep problem. But the thought of someone making him fill out forms while he sat in an uncomfortable chair made him nervous.

Maybe he just needed a drink and some time off. Of course. Wasn't that the cure- all?

As he stumbled out of the lecture theatre, he decided that he would go get waffles after all. It would be a shame to stay inside all day, studying. He pulled out his phone, thumb hovering above Francis's name on the screen.

 _Who would want to go anywhere with you? You're stupid, unperceptive, and boring. Francis is sophisticated, he doesn't want to be seen with someone like_ you.

His thumb shook, and he scrolled past his best friend's name. Maybe he should just stay in the library today, get a bit of writing done.

"Oi, bastard." The voice sent a shock through his body. He turned and saw Lovino, who was already slipping easily through the crowd to join him. "Are you free right now? Or…"

As he caught Antonio's eye, his face softened.

"Oh man, Toni. There is no way you are going to class like this. Let's see... Friday, you have nothing on this evening. We're getting waffles and then _you,_ " the word was accompanied by an intense glare, "are going to take a _nap._ "

He grabbed the other man's hand and strode forward, Antonio in tow.

Antonio's lips turned upward. What would he do without his Lovino?

He tripped over a crack in the pavement. Lovino stopped, turned back and huffing in a sort of tired amusement. "C'mon, Toni," he extended a hand, "are you able to walk? Or do I have to carry you?"

Antonio laughed. "Lovi, you're so kind! I think I'll take you up on that offer!"

"No bastard, you're walking by yourself. _Idiota._ "

Lovino grabbed his wrist and pulled upwards sharply.

And he didn't let go. They continued like that, hand grasping wrist, walking side by side.

* * *

They sat in the corner of the little shop, plates already cleared away.

Lovino's spoon clinked against the rim of the coffee cup. Small drops of black coffee landed on the saucer. Antonio watched as the amount of coffee outside the cup slowly grew.

"Lovi, did you always drink your coffee black?"

Lovino's face crumpled slightly. Antonio watched, slightly shocked. He had done something wrong, hadn't he. Again.

" _Bastard._ "

"Sorry?"

A dismissive laugh. "No, don't be. Let's go home, you need to rest up."

* * *

 **A/N**

 **Thank you so much to** Nutella Love **and the two guests who reviewed! I appreciate every review and it motivates me to write.**

 **Shorter chapter this time but if you squint, you can almost see plot development. Also, it seems that has linked with Grammarly and is trying to change my writing to American English. Or something. Anyone else having this problem?**


	4. Chapter 4

Coffee cups littered the surface of his desk. A pair of glasses sat beside an open computer, the owner nowhere to be found. Antonio massaged his temples trying to remember what had happened last night. Had he been out drinking again? He groaned, hadn't he put himself under a strict alcohol ban until his exams were finished?

"I feel like death."

Extracting himself from the clean white sheets that were tangled around his legs, he suddenly realised that it was about three in the afternoon. Wasn't it a little too early to be completely smashed? But really, when was too early to be smashed? The Spaniard shook his head and laughed, he had been hanging around Gilbert for too long. Speaking of, he should ring up his friend. It was probably partially his friend's fault that he had gone out drinking anyway. As he moved to pick up his phone, he heard a clatter and a cute voice saying some not very cute things. Antonio frowned, moving towards the kitchen. Another clatter sounded through the small dorm. He picked up his pace.

A boy stood in front of the stove, cursing at what seemed to be a frying pan full of something. Food? He stepped closer, the scent hit him in the face. Yes, food. Really good smelling food.

As he entered the kitchen, he saw that no, the boy was not talking to the frying pan. He held his phone in the crook of his neck as he expertly handled the pan, moving the tossing the contents as he added spices and seasoning.

"Damnit Feliciano, are you being serious right now? You actually just fucking said that. If you want to actually start telling me how to make this, maybe you could try to describe things in a way that a real person could understand?" There was a brief pause as the boy adjusted the phone, listening intently. A scowl quickly crept back onto his face. "No, saying 'wait until it sort of smells like a mix between green and red' does not help at all. Dio Feli, you could try to be more helpful, y'know? It's a fucking recipe for paella, not some kind of witchcraft. Damnit, fuck." He hung up, jabbing the phone angrily and spinning around to drop the phone on the counter behind him.

"Lovi? Are you… cooking for me?"

In the few years that Lovino and Antonio had known each other, Lovino had never cooked for him like this. It had always been pre-cooked meals that were left out on the counter for when Antonio had finished studying, or when he woke up from a siesta.

"... You," Lovino avoided Antonio's gaze, "haven't been– have you been eating?"

Antonio's easy smile fell off his face. He wasn't that dense, he had caught the almost accusation. That wasn't good. He didn't need people worrying about him unnecessarily. He suddenly remembered the aching, pounding of his head. "Of course I've been eating, don't be silly. But thank you for worrying about me!"

He was rewarded with a blank stare. "Yeah, okay but take care of yourself, for fuck's sake."

A plate of steaming rice was set in front of him. Antonio's stomach churned. He felt like he was going to throw up. You could smell the heavy scent of it, the fats and salts. But… "thanks, Lovi! It's nice to eat with the cook once in a while, isn't it?"

Lovino smiled at that. A soft, real smile that only graced his lips in warm moments like this. A face that was unguarded, as if life had treated him the way he deserved. How could Antonio waste this? He brought the spoon to his mouth and choked down the paella with a smile.

"You passed out."

"I'm sorry, I what?"

Lovino glared at him. "I said, you passed out. You're lucky that Gil is a medical student, otherwise I would've had to lug your sorry ass to the campus doctor."

"Gil?" Since when had Lovino started calling him that? Sure, he called his friend that, but had Lovino even seen Gilbert apart from that New Year party? If he had remembered right, Gilbert had mistaken the Italian for a prostitute and had attempted to buy him for 10 dollars which, to be fair, was the only thing that Gil had had on him. And Lovino had said… oh. That Gilbert was a bit cheap but he could come around anytime as long as his dick was bigger than the amount of cash in his pocket.

Lovino had been really drunk.

"And he said that you need more sleep as well, which was kind of like 'no fuck, we kind of all need more sleep', but you really do, don't you?"

Antonio looked up, "what?"

Lovino sighed, then repeated his conversation with Gilbert. "So I've emailed your professors for the next two days saying that you would be absent, I couldn't find your phone so you'll have to contact someone about notes later, yeah?"

"Lovi, you didn't touch the USB, right? I haven't saved some things."

"I'm not that dumb, come on. By the way, I didn't log out of your account. You have some emails that need replying to, how long have they been sitting there?"

"... Uh, a long time?"

Lovino sighed and pulled up a chair beside Antonio. "I'll sort them out tomorrow, you need to rest up."

A sort of easy silence settled on them as Antonio ate. It had always been like this, from the first moment they met. As a general rule, the college would give you a roommate of the same year as you. But Antonio's roommate, a transfer student, had moved out halfway through the year. He had been a little more than disappointed, the transfer student had been Spanish– the only connection he had to his home. But when he had seen Lovino, he had instantly perked up. The boy had just come from the airport, his hair messy and his clothes rumpled. A sort of half scowl had hung on his lips as he introduced himself. From that moment, Antonio had been entranced by the boy. His lyrical English, the way he often unknowingly descended into Italian, the way he moved as if he were dancing, the small, rare smiles that felt like the sun.

A tentative friendship was formed but soon their lives revolved around one another. Without realising, Antonio and Lovino soon became Antonio-and-Lovino, names that came together, a package. Gilbert had complained at first, saying Antonio had left the trio for a boy, but Francis quickly stepped in, reminding Gilbert that he had taken Francis off his speed dial to make room for Roderich. Gilbert had shut up quickly after that.

The plate was scraped clean of the last of the food. Antonio met Lovino's eyes, "thanks. It was good."

Lovino flushed a little but didn't look away.

"You're welcome."

* * *

A/N:

I'm getting closer to writing the content I want


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